Most recently was when I lived with my ex-fiance. I was the first girl he’d slept with and I naturally had a much lower libido than him, but usually went with it anyway. One day he wanted sex when I was feeling really unwell. I told him I felt crappy and wanted to have a nap. He kept pressing; finally he called me selfish and hit me. We had sex and then he left me to nap. About an hour and a half later he made me get up and have a shower. While we were in the shower I passed out and he had to take me to the emergency department. I was dehydrated because of the heat and had to be put on a drip. He never apologised, never even acknowledged what had happened.
Worse things have happened to me, but this is the story I wanted to share. There was little force and we lived together, but it still affected me badly. I believed him when he said I was selfish, even after I ended up leaving him because of his abuse. In the months following I had several one night stands with men I wasn’t even attracted to. I felt that wanting to have sex with me was the standard I should be going for because I didn’t have anything else to offer that they couldn’t get from anyone else.
This post was submitted by Cassandra.
